I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
