So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
