She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
