I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
