Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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