You're my little dorito
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
