Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
