Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
