She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
