Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
