My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
