I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i think i have herpe
just one?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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