dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
