He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
