I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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