butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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