Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my being single is dangerous.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
