I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize