Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
PANTIES FOUND
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize