White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize