Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
