If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize