Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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