My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
