Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
