do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
