Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
