my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
