So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
