Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
