she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
