bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
