nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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