i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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