i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
