Duck Duck Cougar?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
