oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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