I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
