My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
