Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am puke
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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