I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
