I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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