I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
