are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
