Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
