guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What a dumb baby whore.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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