help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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