ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
