so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
