ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
