So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
