Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
FUCK WHALES
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
