I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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