There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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