What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
