am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
