some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
