careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
