Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
God, I missed his penis.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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