Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
