Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
