What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
