Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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