She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
