This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
