i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
